The buttons won’t close on any of my clothes.
My pants don’t fit, so here I am throwing a fit.
They weren’t made for me, but I wear them to feel free.
So here I sit unable to zip, thinking maybe this could be a fun bit.
They used to be big all belted and shit.
But now they have me wishing I just had a dick.
Actually no, maybe just some more grit.
I stretch them, then test them, but still my luck slim.
It may be that I’ll have to toss them in the bin.
As I take them off they get stuck at the knee.
“Alright! Suck it in, last one for the win! Weeee!”